The miserable adventure
by XxXxLoveandKissesxXxX
Summary: John Mcclane and Tinky Winky fight off a facist menace thats ruling the people of America.


It was 6:14 o clock on the teletubby clock. And tinky winky was depressed; he was suffering the unsatisfying burdens of the spurt of turbulent adulthood. And everything that was fun to him as a child now became nothing more than immature pieces of a crazy jigsaw puzzle. Suddenly he heard a crash outside, and his life will never be the same again. He ran out of the telehouse smashing open its door. And he saw a... crashed ship with two aliens in it. One looked at tinky winky with a smile under his mysterious mask. "Hey babe, like where the fuck are we?" said one of the aliens. "um.. you're in teleland" said tinky who has never been called 'babe' before. "oh so this isn't your anus", "WHAT!" shouted tinky winky. Suddenly the spaceship exploded before Tinky Winkys eyes into a flying metal projectiles. He looked back and saw a Christian conservative with a Micheal Bay Exterminator Bazooka, specify the one from Chris Chan's soviet town of CWCvile. "DIEEE FAGGOTS!" shouted the kind and lovable catholic Christian, he was holding a copy of Mein Kampf in his arms, with a Adolf Hitler bookmark. Tinky Winky looked in shock, "WTF did you do that for you motherfucker!", "Son I am here to kill gay homosexual faggot aliens, if I don't they will turn our people gay!" he shouted in awesome fear and terra. Tinky was confused, if aliens wanted to turn humans gay why were they gay. Were they jealous of our straightness, or was it something more. "Here lil faggot this will protect you from the gays" said the kindy old man has he handled Tinky a Tommy gun with a UKIP symbol on its side. Then the Christian fellow gave him a Hitler salute as if to say farewell, then went back to his church filled with his underaged sex slaves. Tinky smiled his face, he finally had a gun, a gun without a license, A FUCKING GUN! He shot at the sky many times in happiness "FUCK YOU SKY" he shouted like a cunt. Suddenly he saw a burning alien body before him, he ran towards it. "Are you hurt O' alien one" he said, "Please avenge me" said the alien, his skin melting with flesh and guts pouring out of it. "Don't worry, I'll get you to a doctor", "I don't need a fucking doctor you moronic cunt" shouted the fucking dying alien. "P..please do this for me, please bring back Blockbuster to America". "what" tinky said, "jokes" the alien giggled, "But seriously please help the gay alien cause, we are dying, the Neo-Nazi Golden Nazi Dawn Nazis are killing us with their super Chuck Norris Michael Bay Hydrogen proto cannons" he then muttered as he died in Tinky's arms. Tinky did not know what to do, should he fight the Nazis, he had his Tommy Gun but that would be worthless in the face of 666 thousand tanks, their Michael bay explosion cannons pointing right at him. He needed someone who could fight Nazis, he needed the A team. And so Tinky Winky went to the Illuminutti to get the A team. 

When Tinky Winky got there, he asked the NSA where the A team were. "There is no A Team, Only Zeul" replied the super secret spy agency. Ok, well is there anything else you have? "We have Bruce Mothafuckin Mcclane ya annoying little fag" said the polite agency. "Ok, I need Bruce Mcclane" Tinky said from the mouth hole of his face. Then Bruce Mcclane went down to Tinky Winky, "What is it now" said Mcclane in a sort of pissed off tone, but not so pissed off that it was obvious. "There were gay aliens from space, then a church guy cume also, and he was a nazi, and a pedo, and he came from CWCvile. And he like killed the gay aliens, and then I found out he was a nazi." "Fine, I'll help you but I'll need payment", "Sure, I specialize in hookers I'll pay you good." Bruce Mcclane and Tinky Winky did some detective work, "The IP from the nazi priests pedo site tracks him to the south" said Tinky as he was doing some hacking shit on a computer and writing Teletubby/Die Hard fanfiction too. They then went to the Catholic Priests house and found a stash of pedo porn. "Right you sick old dipshit, you're going away for life" said officer Mcclane, "But how can you stop us" said the Preist with a creepy old smile. "Us?" Tinky muttered, suddenly hundreds of men in KKK ghost costumes and bondage suits jumped down and wrapped themselves around tinky and mcclane as the priest restrained them around their arms with his long moving male meat between his legs otherwise known as his Cock-a-doodle-doo. "This maybe a reproductive organ, but it's also my fifth limb" laughed the priest. Rolf Harris then walked into the Priests house, "W..Who are these guys" he said in a cowardly voice. "We are legends ya fag" shouted Tinky Winky as he grabbed a blade from Mcclanes pocket and cut the priests extremely long cock, the priest yelled in horror his meat hose was spraying blood everywhere. The priest's penile muscle started regenerate, and thus Bruce and Winky went downstairs to the basement.

There they saw a guy frozen in a mirror, Tinky gasped. "I..is that Christian Weston Chandler?"", "Looks like it" said Bruce as he shot the Mirror and freed Chris Chan. "I'm finally free from those dang dirty trolls" said Chris, "Now let's go fuck some motherfucking paedophile ass" he said with a smile. The three duo got the katana swords of George Pell and ran up stairs to kill some dumbass pedo Christians. "Sieg Heil!" Shouted the Christians in rage as they marched closer. Tinky Winky grabbed a grenade from his pocket and bit of its knob, before sexily throwing it at the priests and KKK, they all exploded into shit and duct and blood with foetuses leaking out of their butts. Mcclane started to shoot at them, while Chris got out a vibrator and shoved it up their asses.

Alan Joyce and Bill Crosby the two major Christian Pedos got out their bazookas and shot at the group shouting "DIIIEEEEEE FAGSS!." And Boko Haram got their heads out of their asses and jumped into the house fucking everything that moves with their super large 0.2" inch cocks. Chris smiled, he was going to do something crazy. He put on his KKK outfit, and lifted a heavy chair with rage, and threw it at the Christians and Boko Haram killing them all. Rolf Harris was Masturbating with a razor. Then a nuke fell on the house, and everyone fucking died you deplorable twats. The fucking END! NOW FUCK OFF YA FUCKING seriously either you get the fuck out, or read my oTheR FANFicTiONS STORIES! DumbASSbitcHFAgotcunt! You pieces of UGLY Hellacious dipshits!11!11!111! Also if you as the reader, take this personally then fuck off. Everyone is a pig headed twat, don't take this so personality.


End file.
